Love is the best part of being alive!

Well, I guess a blog doesn’t have to be a frequent thing… for me, in any case. Here I am, about 11 months after my last entry. My prostate cancer has been responding remarkably well to my program.

While my PSA has crept up somewhat, Dr. Bard in New York City has asserted (after another Power Color Doppler Sonogram and an MRI in June) that it is because my prostate has grown although the prostate cancer doesn’t appear to be aggressive. Even my urologist, who has been skeptical about my program, found that encouraging.

To add some new excitement to my life, I experienced a mild heart attack almost two weeks ago. I’d awakened around 1:30am Sunday August 10th. I went to the bathroom and upon returning to bed felt some discomfort in my chest. I’d felt that kind of pressure-like discomfort a number of times in the past several years. I figured it was acid indigestion or perhaps it had something to do with a hiatal hernia I’d been diagnosed with awhile back. So, I took some antacid tablets and waited. When the discomfort didn’t stop after about 10 minutes and somehow seemed to radiate into my arms, particularly my left arm, I decided it might be much more serious.

I know about early heart attack warnings. I’m 67- not too old, but not very young either. So, I went and took an aspirin, a regular 325 mg aspirin. Then I reflected briefly on what it would mean to awaken my wife Judy at this hour especially knowing we had our almost-4-year-old grandson Sam asleep with us in the next room. His mom and dad were away for the weekend celebrating their wedding anniversary. I didn’t reflect very long and awoke Judy and we called 911. Before long the EMTs arrived followed by an ambulance from Somerset Medical Center. I received a couple of sprays of nitroglycerin under my tongue, had an EKG done and a IV drip set up even as we headed to the hospital ER.

Judy stayed home with Sam and I checked myself into the hospital. I had my cell phone with me. All that stuff about cell phones interfering with medical instruments and equipment is now recognized as just so much crap as I’d always thought it was. I was grateful and delighted. So, I kept in touch with Judy using my cell phone. The EKG in the ambulance and another at the ER looked remarkably normal. They took blood samples and my cardiac enzymes also were mostly normal except for one that was just barely outside normal. They said that we’d proceed as if this were a full cardiac event, an MI (myocardial infarction), until it was either confirmed or turned out to be something else. It took another 8 hours… about 12 hours after when I experienced the initial discomfort, to confirm that it was a real heart attack. By then, the cardiac enzymes in my blood were clearly elevated.

It’s now almost two weeks later. I came home about four days later after an initial angiogram (using a catheter through my groin and up my right femoral artery) done on Monday at Somerset Medical Center and another including an angioplasty done on Tuesday (through my left femoral artery ) after being moved to Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in New Brunswick. The second procedure was done to install stents in two coronary arteries- one that was fully blocked and another that was about 70% obstructed. I was fully awake during the procedures, but found that there was very little pain, if any, except for some pinching when they gave me shots of Novocaine in my groin area where the catheter was inserted.

I’ll write more details at a later time. I feel there's lots to talk about and reflect on. Now I’m home feeling remarkably well. I’m taking it easy. I was told that I need to do that for about four weeks or so until the stents are integrated into my arteries. So, no lifting anything over 2 pounds and no bending over to tie any shoelaces. Overall, I'm feeling really good but extremely vulnerable. I’m aware that we never really know when it might be our time to go. Gratefully, I do not have any fear about death, though I don’t really want to die any time soon. Honestly, I don’t expect to. But, I do feel strongly now that we never really know.

Sadly, I missed attending an unexpected funeral of a cousin-in-law of my wife Judy while in the hospital. Ray was someone I really liked, though I didn’t get to see him very often. I remember how special he was with Judy's mom, Leah. And I remember how his wife, Judy's cousin Rikki, came to visit me when I was mourning the death of my mom and stepdad. While ill for several years with something that might take his life- Ray had been on regular dialysis, was doing well otherwise and was awaiting a second liver transplant (the first didn’t last very long) when he’d suddenly experienced a freak accident. He’d felt a bit woozy and fell and hit his head while at a neighbor's home… went into a coma and never recovered after being without oxygen for over 15 minutes before emergency help arrived. One never knows. My heart feels more pain for his wife and family at this point than anything related to it‘s own internal functioning.

I feel so very blessed by my own loving family and friends. I was surrounded by people who love me. My wife Judy. All four of my daughters were here; two from a long way away- Tina drove up from Durham, North Carolina and Cassandra flew in from California with my youngest grandson, Will who is about 9 weeks old. My dear friends, Gerry and Sandie took days off and were with Judy and me at the most critical times during those days in both the hospitals. I was prayed for and sent loving energy and hundreds of email and phone messages by all my Shalom community friends and so many other friends and family members; some I haven't seen in ages. I hope to be around for a long time so I can continue to experience such love and caring affection for many years. I’m still receiving calls and cards and letters every day. And, I’m still doing my disciplined health program of nutrition, meditation, and other things, though my physical exercises are very limited for a few weeks. Life is precious. I’m very grateful. And, I’m feeling deep vulnerability… the vulnerability that comes from being very human. And to be sure, I send much love to you- reading this entry. Love is the best part of being alive!