It's Saturday January 27th. This morning we did holotropic breath work and it was awesome. I went into the process with an expectation that I knew what might happen. In fact, it was quite unique.
I first got in touch with memories and feelings about my first stepfather, Ralph. For many years in my childhood, perhaps from around 5 through 12 or 13 he'd pay me anywhere from 25 cents to a dollar and a half to give him a scalp or foot massage or to scrub callouses on his soles with a pumice stone.
Back then, I was glad to have a way to earn spending money though I didn't always like that I "had to" do it when asked or risk being treated as ungrateful or misbehaving. As I reached the end of that age range I began to feel exploited and taken advantage of. I became angry and resentful. I carried the anger actively for a long time... even beyond his passing in my early thirties.
In the breathwork I got in touch with Ralph's humanity- with his need to be touched in the way all of us human beings need to be touched. I could sense he hadn't gotten that kind of attention when he was younger and his parents were alive- probably struggling with survival demands as immigrants early in the 20th century and during the depression years. I could feel empathy and compassion. I was able to picture myself surrendering my resentment and anger and forgiving him for any offenses I'd been carrying. He forgave me for carrying the resentment and anger for so many years. I pictured us hugging each other. I felt a burden lifting from my soul.
There was more to my experience of the breathwork, but that's all I'm writing about now. I feel so grateful to have Shalom Mountain in my life and my world. I celebrate that I have been a supporter of the work of Shalom Mountain for many years. (see www.shalommountain.com and/or www.friendsofshalom.com)
